Tuesday, August 12, 2008

How long will this last?

What more experienced people tell me is to appreciate this time while my children are young. They say it goes fast. They say it's time I'll never get back. They say I should enjoy my children while they are little. Today, I say this time better go faster or my kids might not make it to their teens.

While I was walking the dog this morning, Scott and the kids were sleeping. Or, so I thought. I arrived home to Callie announcing, "Mom, this time Brynn trimmed my bed, not my hair." "WHAT??" I asked, imagining Callie's brand new comforter shredded. She repeated herself. Still not understanding, I asked, "With what did she trim your bed?" (Proper grammar even under stressful conditions, you'll notice...finally, something I'm actually good at.) "She trimmed my bed with the kid scissors from the kid drawer." At this point, I thought to myself, "Take a deep breath before you wring her neck."

I headed up to Callie's room to survey the damage. On the way up I found bits and pieces of a formerly very cute hair do-dad and then Callie pointed me to the "trimmed bed." Brynn had clipped the center edge of both the fitted sheet and the mattress pad on Callie's bed, and it was clearly quite intentional. Then I also noticed that she had clipped the edge of a baby blanket knitted for Callie by someone special.

I thought that this stage of intentional destruction was over. Brynn hasn't colored on the walls, floor, or computer for at least a few months. She hasn't used scissors without my supervision since she cut her own hair about a year ago. The scissors were put away, up high, until recently when I thought I could put them back in the craft drawer in the craft closet which is supposed to be off limits to my children. When the scissors are up high and out of sight, unfortunately even I forget where they are, which makes doing actual craft projects very difficult.

I want to enjoy my children's preschool and early elementary years. I want to enjoy this time with my children before they turn into surly teens and before they move out to go to college. I really have a desire to enjoy every minute of their childhood and I remind myself daily that it is part of my duty as their mother to have fun with them, to laugh and smile and play with them. Unfortunately, with tears rolling down my face, I have to say that I spend more time frustrated with them than I do feeling joyful with them. I speak sternly to them more than I laugh with them. I am angry more than I am happy.

What I am discovering is that I do not know how to balance between keeping my house in reasonable order, keeping my children and husband fed, and having fun with my children. I am not good at doing all of those things at the same time, but I'm especially bad at the having fun part.

If anyone wants to give me a lesson, I'm open to suggestions.


Heather said...

I have no suggestions for you, but you do have my sympathy. I'm not looking forward to when my daughter hits the can-cut-things-with-scissors age.

Michael said...

our solution was to send our child back to Belarus... but that might not be an option.

Susi said...

I hear you... Mom's world. And I'm dealing with 2 boys: almost 2 and almost 5... you speak my thoughts!

Hillary Dickman said...

Oh, if only I could send my children back...to the womb and just try again in a few years. I think a few more years of "maturity" would go a long way for me.

Susi, thanks for your comment. It really helps to know that I'm not alone! I don't like to voice such negative thoughts, but I do need to know that not all moms are as happy with our children as we would like to be.

3boys247 said...

Only one day left and they are in school, well Brynn at least. It will get better. trust me. And maybe we should have more bloody mary days.

Laureen said...

I realize you are frustrated right now, but reread your blog on RAW and remember how much the Chapmans would love to have their little girl back and would probably laugh if she cut up some sheets. This will pass and they will grow up alot lot faster than you can believe! Look how old my little boy is. I wish I lived closer to you and could take those precious little girls off your hands sometimes. I miss them soooo much!!

Weber said...

Oh, sounds like a rotten day! I have had more of those than I would like. With 3 wild boys it's never boring around here! They are ALWAYS into something. I yell far too much but am getting SO much better at seeing "the bright side" as my 7 year old says. Hey, at least it was just the bedding and not hair. My oldest did that when he was 5. Hang in there! :)