Thursday, September 25, 2008

My strong-willed child

This was in my email inbox today from the National Center for Biblical Parenting. Once in a while they send out something that speaks right to me, and this was one of those emails. They could have come and sat down in my house and watched me parent Callie and then written this email about her. It doesn't give me much advice about how to deal with her, but at least it is encouraging!

Strong-Willed Kids

Children who make decisions with intensity tend to be labeled “strong-willed.” At the end of the day, their parents feel as if they’ve been engaged in hand-to-hand combat—and that the child often wins at the parent’s expense! Most parents consider a strong will a negative personality trait because it often creates resistance and frustration in family life. Yet, in reality, it’s the strong-willed kids who are often better equipped to succeed, be creative, and face adversity.

Children with strong wills have the potential to become the next generation of leaders. They have their own ideas and plans. They know what they want. They’re persistent, confident, passionate, and determined to succeed at whatever they choose to do.

Leaders have an agenda, look for ways to incorporate others into their plans, and have a high need for control in life. Balanced with graciousness, leaders become a treasure because they make things happen, create organization out of chaos, and motivate people to action.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to raise a leader. These kids tend to have their own ways of doing things and like to tell other people (including their parents) what to do. A strong will keeps a child moving in a certain direction in spite of obstacles. Often these children need bigger barriers or tighter limits to teach them that those boundaries are firm.

Don’t be discouraged by the effort it takes to teach a strong-willed child which limits not to push. The strong-willed child accomplishes things in life, because the roadblocks that might hold others back are no match for this kid’s determination. Your job is to help him know the difference between obstacles to overcome and limits to live within.

A strong will can be an asset… as long as the heart is in the right place.


3boys247 said...

I love your strong willed child. She does have leadership qualities.

Remember how Griffin is/was? They are kind of the same. Very strong willed, everyday a battle. If they were firsts, they would be onlys.

3boys247 said...

I tagged you on my blog. You better play this time, or else. : )