Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Have a take, don't suck.

Yes, I once was a Jim Rome listener. Not for long, but I never forgot his tagline: have a take, don't suck. I used to want to use that on my public speaking students.

Here's my take. I hope it doesn't suck.

The Oprah show on Ted Haggard was not as bad as it could have been. I'm happy to see Ted seeming so...happy. And gracious. And dynamic. Just like the Ted we knew before this all happened. I was sad to hear what he thinks of our church. I suppose it might be hard for him to feel any other way in his position, but still. I can see why the church asked him to move. First, Ted said it himself -- on a pedestal, he would not have been able to heal. If he had stayed in our church, he still would have been on a pedestal. He would have been looked up to despite what he was dealing with. He wouldn't have been able to grow or recover with the spotlight on him. Second, wouldn't it have been especially disruptive to the church to have him around? The media frenzy, the factions it would have created within the church with some people wanting him to go somewhere else to recover and some wanting to follow him no matter what the cost? It seems like a no-brainer that he had to leave. And he certainly was not abandoned. Not with his severance package and free counseling from some of the best counselors in the country.

But, that's just my take.

I also wish that Oprah had seen Ted's homosexual feelings and desires not only as something that are a part of him that he shouldn't deny, but something that, if acted on, would hurt his family and especially his wife just the same as hetrosexual infidelity would have hurt his family and his wife. Oprah seemed so caught up on making the point that his sexual leanings are part of his identity, she didn't recognize that it doesn't really matter with which gender he cheated -- the fact is that he cheated on his wife. And his desires were tearing him up inside partly because he knew that every time he acted on them, he cheated his wife and his family and his church. It's not just about whether he is homosexual or hetrosexual or somewhere in between, it's about the fact that he lied and cheated. And it wasn't just the lying about his feelings that was wrong, it was the cheating, too. She didn't seem to recognize that.

But Oprah had an agenda to push. So there you go. My take on today's show.


Fulton said...

you can imagine what pretty much everyone outside your church thinks of ted without the perspective of knowing him or going to the church, but in the brief time i saw the show, it looked like he was trying to act like a victim more than anything. i just felt like he had a "woe is me" attitude and it came off really bad. but then again who would go on oprah with any other kind of attitude.

also i really despise jim rome, which is the exact same reason i was watching oprah. they are both on at 4PM and i was running at the gym... do i watch jim rome?? or do i watch oprah?? id watch oprah every single time. jim rome is a robot.

Hillary Dickman said...

Yeah, a robot is one way to describe Jim Rome. I can think of many others, too. Not as nice as "robot."

That's interesting that you saw Ted as taking on the victim role. That didn't really occur to me until you said it. I might have to re-watch it so that I can pick up on that. I thought the fact that he didn't immediately connect his abuse as a second grader with his current issues pointed to him not taking the victim role, but it also seemed unfathomable to me that he wouldn't connect that abuse and this situation.

The thing is, once someone has lied and has proven to be a very good liar (as Ted proved he was), it is difficult to trust him again. I just wonder how much of what he said yesterday was genuine and how much was an act. I'm not ready to trust him again. Not yet. I want the best for him and his family and I've forgiven him (long ago) for the chaos he caused in our church, but I still take what he says with a grain of salt.

Susi said...

I agree with you, the parts I saw it really did seem like Oprah had a point SHE wanted to make. Totally agree with you that cheating is cheating, regardless of with whom. (that doesn't look grammatically correct... oh well)